Happy Tuesday!
Today, I'm pleased to welcome BL Mortica, author extraordinaire. She's been game enough for a funky interview and has even given us an excerpt. Without further ado:
Welcome aboard! Tell us a little about yourself, please.
BL: I’m BLMorticia,
the snarky muse of Sharita Lira. I’m her oldest muse, been with her since she
was 19.
What about your latest release?
BL: The latest
release is Something Fresh Served Hot, it’s an m/m romantic comedy with a lot
of one liners and a little hot sex. It’s basically a story about a homophobe
who has some ideas about gay men and gets told by his new boss who has the hots
for him.
Ok, let’s get down to the fun stuff. If you were stranded on
a lush tropical island, and all of your basic needs were met, what two items
would you have with you? What person would be with you? Remember, you’re stuck
there for an indefinite period with only each other to occupy the time.
BL: Hmm, oh boy I
have to pick just one person? Okay then, I’ll pick favorite model of the moment
Daniel Garofali and the two things? Hmm, something that plays music like an IPOD
dock and plenty of sex toys like vibes. That might be more than 2 hmm? *laughs*
This means there is also an adequate supply of liquor on hand right? O.0
If you could play opposite any of your lead characters,
which one would it be and why?
BL: Opposite? It
would be Nathan Ellerby from My
Lieutenant since he’s the male version of me. We’d really have you
laughing. He’s a smartass just like I am.
If you could lead any of your secondary characters, which
one would it be and why?
BL: Lead any of my
secondary? Not sure what you mean, if you mean play one of them, I’d say,
Dalian in my m/f Dream of Dalian story in the All
Hallows Eve anthology from Naughty Nights. He’s a vampire, nothing better
than being a vamp or with one.
You’re locked in a closet with Johnny Depp, Colin Farrell,
Kate Beckinsale, three paperclips and a string. How do you get out?
BL: *laughs* Wow,
would I want to leave with Johnny in there and bad boy Colin? I’ll use the
paperclip to somehow pick the lock and let her
out. Ask me later how I’d use the string. *snicker*
Name five things you can do with a pencil.
BL: Write, draw, use
the eraser as a teaser on nipples. (Learned that on the net) 2 more? Hmm, use
the end as a teaser on the clit, tip of the cock. *giggles*
Who’s your favorite character from your book(s)? Why? Don’t
worry, we won’t tell.
BL: Eh, it is still
Nathan as I mentioned above. It will be interesting to write My Lieutenant 2
from Lt. Bryant Duncan’s POV though. He can’t be as snarky unless he’s learned
some one liners from Nathan.
Where can we find you around the vast interwebs?
What about your books? Where are they being sold at?
Thanks for dropping in! Any last words?
BL: Hmm, well I’d
like to thank everyone for being so great to me, the Wicked Snarky muse. The
books are doing nicely which means me and Michael can jab at one another a
little. *grins* Watch out for more from me in 2012. You Don’t Ask, We Don’t
Tell the Series from Rebel Ink and Candyman in the Something New on the Menu
Series. Thanks Lindsay for having me!
BIO: BLMorticia considers herself the snarky and
wicked side of author Sharita Lira so expect her to tap into the taboo and
unleash her fantasies on the world through her words. When not writing, she
does biweekly posts at fellow author Blak Rayne’s blog,
Book One
Something Fresh Served Hot
BLMorticia
A gay contemporary comedy which features a
Chicago homophobe by the name of Jimmy LaCosta who works at a diner called
the Greasy Spoon on the Northside of Chicago near Boys Town.
While working, Jimmy meets the incoming manager, Alex Seidling, a young British
man who his present boss is hiring to take his place as he retires.
After the initial meeting in which
Jimmy feels uncomfortable with Alex's stares, Jimmy cultivates a friendship
with Alex which develops into something totally different than he himself
expects. This shocks him and he tries to fight it but because of his
growing feelings he decides to pursue it despite all of what he has been
taught.
Will he do what his body wants? Will Alex accept
his advances even though he will soon become Jimmy’s boss?
Excerpt PG
Later
on in the day, I was making my way to the john when I noticed Alex sitting down
in George’s office looking over some papers. I was on my way out of the place
since my shift was over and my hot night with Zena was in the next hour.
When
we exchanged glances, he waved his hand at me. “Jimmy, hey, can you step inside
a moment, please?”
I
exhaled before going into the small space and closed the door behind me. I had
been in George’s office a little too many times for my taste so needless to
say, when I went in I was a little nervous about talking to the new boss to be
in here.
Still,
I thought this to be the perfect time to let Mr. Seidling know my boat doesn’t
float that way. Once I got in, I sat in the wooden chair in front of the desk.
“Hey,
Jimmy. I was just looking over some things and it seems like you’re in need of
a raise my friend. How could you just let George stiff you all these years?”
Alex shook his head while still glancing at the large sheet of paper.
I
cocked an eyebrow. He was definitely right about this observation.
Okay,
maybe he ain’t so bad after all.
I
ran my hand though my brown mane. “Well, I need the job and um…well, I make
okay money, or…”
“No
you don’t, Jimmy,” he interrupted. “At the last restaurant I managed, the top
cook was making twenty-two bucks an hour. The owner felt it was necessary to
pay him well because he kept the customers happy. Not to mention, he was quick,
polite…”
I
cut him off. “Wait, did you just say twenty-two dollars, an hour?”
Alex
chuckled, “Yeah man. You’re only making fourteen. Dude, seriously, you’re
getting robbed, yeah. I’ll make sure I let George know he should raise you up
to at least eighteen effective immediately.”
My
eyes bulged when he said that number. I was trying to keep my excitement in but
I couldn’t help it. All the things I could do with making eighteen dollars an
hour. A new car, a better apartment than the rat hole I was staying in, and
damn, some better clothes. I may be a cook but I like to look good when I step
out with the ladies.
“Gods
Jimmy, I cannot believe George mimics the guy on that cartoon, what’s his
name?” He looked up at the ceiling and snapped his fingers.
I
laughed when I thought of my favorite show other than Sportscenter. “Spongebob
and you’re talking about Krabs…he’s a tight wad.”
Alex
giggled and placed the papers on the furniture in front of him. He locked his
eyes with mine, making me a tad uncomfortable. “That show is hilarious.”
We
shared a laugh and even though we seemed to be getting along great I had to
remember why I was here.
Man, I
did come in here to tell him something…oh yeah…
I
nodded, “Yep, it’s full of laughs. Hey…um Alex…I was uh, noticing the eye you
were giving me earlier.”
Alex
raised an eyebrow and smirked. “Yeah?”
Suddenly,
I froze. As much as I wanted to tell him to stop staring me down like a piece
of meat, I thought twice about how to phrase it, especially since the guy told
me that he’d be telling George to give me a four dollar raise. I sighed. “Um,
yeah dude, was there a reason why you were looking at me like that?”
Alex
smacked his lips together and rolled his eyes. “Oh Jimmy let’s not play games
here. You know I was checkin’ you out and don’t tell me that you don’t go that
way because I really don’t care that you do. Besides, it’s nothing wrong with
looking. Just because I’m taking a gander at your tight fitting jeans to go
along with the snug, black tee shirt that you have on, it doesn’t necessarily
mean I want you.”
I
leaned back in my chair and turned up my lip. “Oh yeah, then what would you
call it?” I crossed my legs. I had to hear this.
“Well
Jimmy consider this, when you look at a tasty dish that catches your eye on a
menu does that mean you have to order it? And, in your terms, being the macho
heterosexual that you are, do you go after every girl you see walking by? Maybe
you do. Let’s just stick to the first example, yeah?”
This
guy’s a card.
It
was true what he was saying but then after he completed his sentence, I
wondered why he didn’t want me. “Well damn, why don’t you find me attractive?”
“Oh
Jimmy, I didn’t say that. I just don’t see why I should order you at this time.
There are plenty of obvious reasons. The most important being that you’re so
fucking manly it hurts. I can tell just by the way you walked in here that
you’re trying way too hard to be a man.” Alex leaned back in his chair with a
smug look on his face.
“What?
That doesn’t make any sense.” I stuffed my hands in my pockets and looked at
him sideways.
“Fuck
Jimmy, when we were in the kitchen you weren’t wearing any mitts or using a
towel to get hot buns out of the oven. Why? Because you think it might show you
as weak. You’re probably one of those who watches sports shows, drinks beer,
and puts your hand down your pants while scratching your balls with your legs
wide open, just because you think that’s manly.” He put his hands up, signaling
quotes. “Ugh, I know you’re your type, Jimmy LaCosta. The name fits you too,
Italian American, yeah?”
What
the fuck, why did he just read me like a book?
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